What do you first think of when you wake in the morning?
Why I am here today?
Why do I have to go...today?
Do these questions bring an immediate answer?, Give a logic reason!
There are days, when I say to myself why am I put in this situation?.What's my purpose in life?
When my father passed away in september of 2000, I was fourteen,andwith my dad's passing I took a turn for the worse ;i was just branching out of my "quiet Shell" after all i was becoming a outgoing Teenager,but when my dad unexpectantly passed away i went into my immediate "quiet shell" AGAIN! As I began attending high school, my freshman year was very difficult I struggled to make friends,often ate alone,and believe it,or not i was semi-depressed with occassionally saying things that was not in my nature to say.During the end of my freshman year i had a complete & uncomprehenisble "melt-down" due to my father's passing.I didn't really express my feelings to anyone ,not even my family !occasionally i would blurt something out to my "few friends",but I still felt depressed.
Yet, It was not until maybe by the year 2004, that i really started to get back to myself,but I was still often angry for no reason,but blaming GOD for taking my father away from me ...I didn't get in trouble in school,doing what i was supposed to ,but my attitude changed ( still respectful to my teachers,and others),i just didn't care about life. I was Anti-social at home and at school often,always staying in my room either watching television,or listening to selena;Selena's music had become my way of escaping the thought of my father not being around.
Today, I am pleased to say i am no longer depressed,nor do i blame GOD,yet today i have sort-of close relationship with him.I am also a rejuvenated person because I have always had a caring heart,and life just made me more genuine to others. The way i do things today is based on what my saddness has taught me growing up as a teenager who lost her father,but gained so many things out of life just because of what i experienced when my father passed,today i listen to my intuition,and i learned that "life is too short to dwell,but to live each day to its fullest"Through my father's passing I have gained a way to express myself,pain through poetry,and through singing.When i sing (I emulate selena),but i sing to relieve my stress.
I know that life has many ways to growth through pain,and i have risen above, and humbled! Here I sit, in college writing for "reflections Magazine":that i never in my wildest dream thought i would be recoginized and rewarded for;needless to say,Thanks to A prof.Cueto, I am able to showcase what my expriences in the past,and in the future has and will teach me,and i can share the motivation to never give up also be your best at all times with others!
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