My father passed away when i was 14yrs.old , i took his death extremely hard. When i saw his lifeless body laying in the same position that he passed away ( a sleep);it broke my little heart;to know that the man who raised me and i confided in was gone. To this day, i still remember waking up to my mother's scream , not aware what had occured and falling out of my bed frightened. Her face dripping with tears her frantic cry for help as she spoke on the phone with 9-1-1. I asked her " mommy, what's wrong not really thinking at the time. I noticed my father was not in the living room i searched for him ,running back in the hallway to here my parents room and my room is adjacent. I saw my dad, the man who loved golf,baseball,and wrestling. I can still remember going to the marlins game with him and screaming" alou, alou"! Its so hard to take that morning out of my head replaying over, over ,and over again.
It made me realize how important life is , i had some amazing times with him . His " little selena" refering back to my favorite singer and my role model in the music industry. Every weekend it was either the golf course or a baseball game that we attended. I sometimes forget he is not here to see me come from classes and tell him about my day,or wait for him to say certain things,and although its going to be 8yrs. since he passed ,it feels as if he is sitting next to me on the bus as i come to classes ,or walking with me at home. Then, there are times i fell he is just missing out on activity that the whole family is involved in.
Sometimes when the wind hits my face , i feel as if he is smiling and hugging me . Sometimes i forget he is even not here ; i honestly think he's on his way home from work ,or he left early to go play golf. Getting ready to call me to see if i've done my homework ,or ate something ,or even spoke to my mom. I don't mention to anyone in the family" i miss daddy" i think they already know ! somethings he is not here to witness like me attending college. I wish he was here to see that much,but i know he's watching me.... I wish he was here physically!
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1 comment:
Our dads are with us Yasmin, just not physically right now. Your love for him guarantees that he will always be with you. I too cannot believe my father is gone from my side, but like you I know he waits in heaven for us to reunite. Beautiful post and lovely tribute to your father.
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